Warning: Girl Filter
So if you don’t want to read too much about contraceptives and what kind of ridiculous bullshit women go through in order to be the primary parties in charge of not getting knocked up, don’t bother reading this post.
I’m not at work today because I’m recovering. See, about New Year’s, after a lot of thinking and a long discussion about the relative merits of various birth control methods with my friend Julie, I got off the pill. See, the pill has some fun side effects. Weight gain is a big one (har) and some people report mood swings and that the pill makes them a little crazy. I just wasn’t sure how I felt on the pill anymore. I’d switched brands of pill hoping to feel better, but I still just felt grumpy.
I know, I know, grumpy is my natural state. I mean I felt more grumpy than usual.
Anyway, so after all this, I decided to ditch the pill. I’d been on it for a good long time and I wasn’t so sure how I would feel off the pills. As it turns out, how I felt afterward was mostly better. I started doing some research, and looked into a few options, and then I decided I was going to talk to my doctor about an IUD.
I thought I was going to have to have a big long fight with either my doctor or my insurance company or both. As it turned out, I didn’t have to fight with either of them. My doctor just told me that it might be hard to place the thing because I’d never had any children, and she gave me a prescription and told me to make an appointment next month. I ended up not making an appointment “next month” because things conspired against me, but I did make an appointment this month, and that’s why I’m not going to work today.
Let me say I’m glad my doctor told me to take the day off after having this done, because frankly, if I had to deal with anyone at all today at work, I would probably go ballistic. It’s not the most painful thing I’ve ever done, but it was pretty damn painful.
I love it that really, my choices for really good birth control are either to dope myself up on hormones, which happens to have turned out to be a not-so-great option for me; lose a whole day’s productivity in order to recover from being poked in the uterus about five times today; or, take the chance on not having the opportunity to change my mind about not having children by having my tubes tied. I think I started this post thinking that I had something really great to say about this whole process but I’m not sure that I do. I suppose what I want to say is that if you’re male and you’re reading this, and you’re not single in any sense, you need to thank the woman in your life for taking care of the part where you don’t accidentally become parents, because frankly, this shit blows. Yeah, they’re choices, but none of them are really good. I like to think I chose the least of the three evils — I mean, I’m sitting here with a cat watching DVR’ed episodes of The Closer, it could be worse — but it was pretty damned awful today. Not to get too graphic with it, but men are constantly having fucking pity parties about the dreaded prostate exam, but for women, from the time that we’re 18 or so, it’s a trip to the gyno every year, and buddy, lemme tell ya, that’s at least as bad as your trips to the GP beginning at 40, and God knows we have to put up with it longer.
I think this is the part where I go get a pint of ice cream.
May 1st, 2006 at 3:46 pm
Yikes. I have a couple other friends who have IUDs and they all reported agonizing pain when they had it put in. Kudos to you.
More men should just get vasectomies. It’s a simple procedure done that takes about 30 minutes and is easily reversible.
May 1st, 2006 at 4:06 pm
I don’t know that I would class it as, “agonizing,” — more like chronic and annoying, and requiring a lot of ibuprofen. Then again, I’ve had all of the skin off the inside of my hand before, and that feels like having your hand on a hot stove, so I think my perspective might be warped.
May 1st, 2006 at 4:17 pm
It’s a simple procedure done that takes about 30 minutes and is easily reversible.
No, it’s not ‘easily reversible,’ no matter what their sales literature says.
Why not just get a tubal ligation?
Personally, I’m waiting for the day this goes on sale then we can get Tinuviel off the pill and I can do the happy dance.
May 1st, 2006 at 9:56 pm
It may comfort you to know that the average recovery time for an IUD insertion vs. a vasectomy is about the same. 30 minutes, yes, and then an ice pack for 24 hours, then up to maybe a week of walking fairly gingerly.
And, speaking from personal experience anyway, a reversal involves six hours of surgery, $10,000 in doctor and hospital bills that insurance almost never covers, ice packs in your lap for multiple days, up to ten stitches per side to close the incisions, walking *very* carefully for about ten days, and no ejaculations for 21 days.
For the record, I had my second vasectomy less than ten days after our last planned child was born.
None of that is to say it’s not totally, totally worth it — I had my first vasectomy at age 21 precisely because I didn’t think it was fair, smart, or, polite to leave responsibility for contraception up to my partners and condoms, the only alternative at the time, were and are a joke as far as reliability goes.
Anyway, as with almost all vasectomies, your IUD will be uncomfortable at first but over time, like almost all men with vasectomies, you’ll feel it’s worth it.
As for your other main point, yeah, there still aren’t any approved alternatives for men *but* there are allegedly a number of products in testing and I think that’s going to make a world of difference. Even the best-intentioned man can’t use something if it’s not available (and reversible.)
Finally, from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry your IUD hurts and I hope it stops hurting soon. And works flawlessly.
Take care,
figleaf
May 1st, 2006 at 10:09 pm
Oh, oh, I forgot to mention that I’m *not* saying suck it up, life’s hard for men too. No way I’m saying that, not at all at all.
Instead I’m saying that I can relate to what you’re dealing with and so I’m not just a little sorry, I’m really sorry even though I think you’ll decide fairly quickly that it was worth it. As did I.
So again, good luck and a speedy recovery, Lux.
figleaf
May 1st, 2006 at 10:36 pm
I didn’t mean to start a whole thing…
May 1st, 2006 at 10:44 pm
I will say that I agree with you that men should appreciate the crap that women go through. But I will also say that I feel very fortunate to have the range of choices that we do as compared to women in other cultures. Oh – and I had one of those “crazy” days you blogged about on Tuesday. I thought I was losing my mind. At least men don’t have to deal with “the crazy” with their choices. However I also recently changed my birth control and I’ll say it’s damn nice to ovulate only once every three months
May 3rd, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Birth control is a bitch. Pills and rings and patches make me depressed. (And they can do that to any woman at any time, as I guess you learned. You can be fine on the hormones for years and then BAM … you’re not.) IUDs don’t work with my bladder condition. There are no good options for me. It really sucks.
I can’t wait till the men’s version of a pill comes out that stops sperm production temporarily. That’ll be great.
May 3rd, 2006 at 2:47 pm
Janice – you don’t actually ovulate at all when you’re on the pill. I assume you’re talking about Seasonale, in which case you menstruate every 3 months.
May 4th, 2006 at 9:47 am
See – shows you what I know… I’m actually on Yasmin – which is a monophasic pill (you can cycle them just like Seasonale – but the cost a crapload less since you’re not paying for all that extra packaging.) And one of my best friends is a medical professional who gives me free sample packs all the time – let’s hear it for free birth control!!
May 4th, 2006 at 10:15 am
Yasmin is the one that I’ve heard specifically, time and again, that makes a lot of women feel really crazy. So, if you start feeling like you’re way moody or something, go see your GYN. Seasonale was the one that I was on last — it really worked well for about 6 months, and then I was back to feeling icky again all the time. Stupid hormones.
May 5th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
Yeah – it’s funny you say that. I had one day of “the crazy” this last cycle. Ask Beau – he’ll tell you how crazy I got. It was just one day – but it was more than I’m generally used to. I’m going to keep on it for one more cycle and see what happens.
May 5th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
This is just bringing up my reminders of needing to go back to the gyno. You are so right that if guys new what we had to go through with this shit, they would have far more respect. ugh.
May 24th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
yes, Yasmin made me crazy too — like, from Miss Calm and Reasonable to Hysterical Insecure Freak Out Girl in 30 seconds. Not to mention the weight gain.
May 25th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Hmm, I’ve been on Yasmin for almost 2 years, with no side effects. Oh wait… I guess this is the part where everyone tells me they actually think I’m a little crazy.
May 26th, 2006 at 6:41 am
Amber . . .are you a plant?
May 26th, 2006 at 11:05 am
Ha!!
Maybe. I mean, I also defended Raving Brands on Rusty’s thread, so, you never know…
Actually, I just thought it would be a funny set-up for people to tell me that actually, I am crazy.
May 26th, 2006 at 11:14 am
You’re crazy.
There.
Happy now?